Please provide the date of your death.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

When the one who dries your tears is the one who makes you cry, who do you run to?

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off.

Everyday of my life I am forced to add another name to the list of people who piss me off.

He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.