Over 40,000 Famous Quotes Sorted By Topic and Author

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I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humour.

Edward Albee Topic: Humor

The gods too are fond of a joke.

Edward Albee Topic: Humor

Unconscious humor.

Samuel Butler Topic: Humor

Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Thomas Carlyle Topic: Humor

In the end, everything is a gag.

Thomas Carlyle Topic: Humor

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

Thomas Carlyle Topic: Humor

I never dare to write As funny as I can.

Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr Topic: Humor

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Agnes Repplier Topic: Humor

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Agnes Repplier Topic: Humor

Now I perceive the devil understands Welsh. And 'tis no marvel he is so humorous. By'r Lady, he is a good musician.

William Shakespeare Topic: Humor

There's the humour of it.

William Shakespeare Topic: Humor

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

George Bernard Shaw Topic: Humor

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.

George Bernard Shaw Topic: Humor

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

Jack Handey Topic: Humor

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

Jack Handey Topic: Humor

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

Jack Handey Topic: Humor

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.

Jack Handey Topic: Humor

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

Jack Handey Topic: Humor

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

Jack Handey Topic: Humor

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did.'

Jack Handey Topic: Humor

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