Over 40,000 Famous Quotes Sorted By Topic and Author

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . . suggest that he wear a tail.

Only the little people pay taxes.

The opposite of talking is not listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. -Fran Lebowitz.

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc jockey is not allowed to talk.

If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Children make the most desirable opponents in Scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.